Ironically, after our last loss we had given up. We were done trying. That last loss almost broke me. It was so devastating. But here we stood, wondering how long this baby would stay.
I remember my first appointment with my MFM doctor and going over my pregnacy history. Seven miscarriages in my life, three in a year and a half time frame. He was patient, comforting and honest. He made no promises and told me he had short term goals of getting me to nine weeks, then ten, and so on. When we passed the twelve week mark, his eyes lit up with hope for our little family, as the miscarriage rate was now considerably lower.
I was now allowing myself to be hopeful and happy and it felt good. Our little fox has had a strong heart beat from the beginning and has been in target with his growth.
Fertility issues are painful. Most keep their struggles quiet, suffering in silence. I have very rarely talked about my own struggles because it is hard. I am grateful, however, that even with my difficulties becoming pregnant and sustaining a pregnancy, I have two healthy children and my third on the way. I'm an older mom now, which makes things a bit riskier but we are taking it day by day.
I was placed on bed rest yesterday due to ongoing contractions with nausea and such which started Friday. Last night, my husband put his face next to my belly and told Logan not to be in such a hurry to get here, to stay put, and not come just yet.
So here I lay, willing our baby boy to stay safe and cozy for quite a while longer, letting him know that 24 weeks and 4 days is just not long enough to ready him for the world just yet.
All the while feeling and watching him kick and play within my tummy without a care in the world.
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