Friday, July 8, 2016

Visiting Our New Baby: Etiquette Rules

Newborn babies seem to beckon visitors to your home like moths to a flame. Seriously. People will seemingly be crawling out of the woodwork to gaga over your little one.

I'm not keen on having a lot of visitors after Little Fox is born and definitely don't want overnight company.

So...without further ado, my Etiquette Rules for visitors wanting to come by to see our new baby!


1. Wash your hands before holding
     the baby. 
     No, I'm not being paranoid. Baby's
     immune system isn't fully in place
     and they are much more likely to
     be affected by illness.

2. No kissing the baby
    Yep. This accompanies rule #1.
    Kissing the baby greatly increases
    their exposure to germs, even if
    you show no symptoms of being
    sick yourself. Plus the risk of the
    cold sore virus (herpes) freaks me
    out.

3. Do not touch baby's face or put
    your fingers in baby's mouth. 
    Seriously. Just don't. Why do
    people feel the need to put their
    fingers in a baby's mouth?
    Again: Germs. (And dirt, etc)

4. Keep visits short
    Pushing out a baby vaginally
    or recovering from a c-section is
    painful, tiring, and messy work.
    And the mess doesn't stop at the
    hospital. Bleeding from down
    yonder, leaky boobs, hormonal
    displays of emotion are not things
    us new mamas want to share with
    everyone.

5. Mom and baby's comfort trumps
    yours. 
    This may come off as rude, but it's
    true. After going through delivery,
    whether vaginal or c-section, and
    bringing home a newborn, hosting
    and entertaining visitors are not
    high on our list of priorities.

    If we are tired, we need rest. If we
    are hungry, we need sleep. We
    need to hold and bond with baby
    for necessary biological reasons.
 
    Your "need" to hold the baby is not
    a need but a want. Hand the baby
    back to mama without pouting.

6. If mom and baby are
    breastfeeding, respect
    boundaries.
    What I mean is don't expect mama
    to "cover up" or go to another room
    so you feel more comfortable.

    If mama wants privacy to nurse
    that may mean visitation has been
    long enough.

    Do not offer advice or question
    mama's decision to breastfeed. It
    isn't your place to do so.

    If mama lets you know you are
    welcome to stay, offer to bring her
    a drink and offer to burp or change
    baby after to help out if she is
    comfortable with that kind of help.

One other thing to remember:
Don't just show up announced. Call (or maybe text so as not to wake the baby) and ask if mama is up for a visit. If not, don't take offense. 

Bringing home a newborn and recovering from delivery is an emotional, physically exhausting and uncomfortable time with lots of learning and adjustments to be had.

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